Dec 6, 2010


How predictable, I start a blog write 4 or 5 messages and forget all about it.
To speak in my defence , this autumn was the most chaotic one ever.
so this reboot of my blog will not be a happy one and I'm sorry for that, but I feel like writing about all of it might help.

I changed school in september , my last year at the uni went totally shipwreck and due to our lovely learning credit system I couldn't continue studying there.
Now I'm studying biomedical laboratory techniques at the Plantijn University college.
It will take some time to get used to it all and I'll miss uni life quite a lot
but this all bleaches in comparison to what happened in November.

My grandmother died.
I still can't really believe it, it's like she's still in the retirement home and we can go and visit her next Sunday.
To tell the full story we must go back 6 years. In May that year she had an Intra-cranial hemorrhage, doctors gave her only 30 minutes to live but she magically woke up.
The revalidation process was long but she didn't give up and although she regained her mobility she still had to go to a retirement home.
For six years everything went well but this year she started to slowly loose control over her right side. Walking was becoming more difficult and her hand started shaking

At the end of October she went to the hospital for a check-up.
They did some tests and the marrow in her neck turned up to be severely damaged,she would continue to get worse and slowly become bedridden. For my grandmother there could not have been a worse diagnosis ending up like that was one of her biggest fears.The next day everything started to go wrong, the inter-cranial pressure became to high and they had to operate. The operation was successful (or at least that's what they told us) but she didn't wake up that day and couldn't breathe for herself so she had to go to intensive care.

My god the flashbacks I had when we were back in ICU,it was all like 6 years ago, she even had the same cubicle.
It were hard days for our family, you only can visit ICU two times a day : from 14.30u-15.00u and 19.30u to 20.00u, so our days went like this : wake up - wait until you can leave for the clinic- visit - get back home and wait till you can go back- get stuck in evening traffic- visit - try to sleep.
Meanwhile the doctors were facing a medical mystery, she wouldn't wake up and they couldn't figure out why. All the parameters were OK, some days even quite good.

She finally woke up the 1st of November,on my cousins birthday (what a coincidence :o ).
The machines still had to help her breathe so she had tubes in her throat and could only nod yes or no.
When looking back at it I feel like she said goodbye to all of us that day,she insisted on all of us holding her hand.
she stayed concious for 2 more days but it wasn't the same like that first day and she slid back in an unconscious state.

The last day I saw her was the 17th of November , after a week of her not waking up they decided to turn of the machines and wait for her breathing to stop naturally, because she wouldn't wake up anymore and keeping her alive just for the sake of it isn't what she wanted.
We spent the whole afternoon there by her side. Every time the monitor made a strange beep I freaked out and feared it was the end,but that evening she was still breathing and all the parameters were good so we all went home to get some very much needed sleep.

18 November, a day a I will never forget. I had school that day and I normally would have stayed at home but I borrowed some papers from a girl and had to give them back so I left for school and my parents promised to call me if anything changed.
right when I arrived,the dreaded call came in.
My mom told me to get to the hospital assap, so I ran to get my cousin who was at school already and we left for a hellish trip to the hospital.
we had to take public transport and really raced as fast as possible but we were to late.

She died 18 November at 10.05u
The days that followed were just surreal and now I still can't really believe it.
I'll miss her so much especially now with the holidays coming up. she always spent Christmas and new years eve at our house and it won't be the same without her.
Farewell Simone Vinck,
you were the best grandmother one could wish for and we will never forget the great times we had with you.

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